Hiatus Extendus

[This is a crosspost from my main blog (andromedarising.com), as I'm unsure how long that site will remain up, or if it is really accessible.]

Continuing with a well earned, and much needed, sabbatical from all activity on the computer - both online and off - and it has
been a wonderfully healing and renewing experience - so much so, that I am unsure if I will resume such activity anytime soon - at least with anywhere near the intensity of the past 9 years.

I have, with great joy, reconnected with real life: real people, real activities and real relationships.
I have regained and revitalized my family life, and been reminded of how priceless that part of my life is, and how unreal and empty cyber-"relationships" are.

It seems to me now, that there is considerable truth to the shibboleth that people who spend large amounts of time online don't have lives.
Well I do have a life - one which I was gradually losing touch with - which I profoundly regret - and this life is precious to me beyond words.

I am so inexpressively weary of the pervasive RPG nature of online interactions and the compulsive 'one-upmanship' which poisons such interactions.

I turned to the internet many years ago, believing it had the potential to free people from the limitations of conventional relationships.

I believed that most real-world interactions were distorted by the restrictions, taboos and unspoken rules that develop around relationships with family members, neighbors, classmates and coworkers.
I also believed that these relationships were distorted and limited by most people's inevitable, instinctive reaction to appearances, such as race, age and gender.

I further believed that these interactions were generally limiting in that one interacts primarily with people living within a small geographical area and misses the opportunity for discourse with indiviuals holding more diverse perspectives and viewpoints engendered by differing experiences, and living in vastly differing cultures in other parts of the world.

I saw also the possibility of empowering and giving a voice to those on the fringes of society - the disenfranchised - people marginalized by unconventional views and lifestyles, by poverty or handicaps, as well as physical and social isolation.

I had great hopes that internet communication held the potential to set people free from such limitations in relating to one another.
I hoped that, absent direct personal contact, judgements and bigotries would not arise based on what another person looked like, how old they were, or what gender, race or class they belonged to.

I had hoped that interactions which were not within the context of the workplace, neighborhood or family, would be thus freed from the inevitable restraints such interactions become burdened with, and that people would feel free to express their thoughts and feelings honestly, without fear of endangering their livelihoods, or offending those to whom they are closely related or live in close proximity to.

In effect, I hoped and believed that the internet would make possible a true 'global village', where people from all walks of life, all backgrounds, all nations and all ages, could come together - a truly race-blind, gender-blind, age-blind, classless, open community - not poisoned by images and bigotries, or restricted by national boundaries and linguistic barriers - and enrich their knowledge of the world which we all share and the human race to which we all belong.

It is with considerable grief that I have yet to see this potential being realized and this opportunity being embraced.

I have found instead, that nearly all people with whom I have interacted online have instead chosen to abuse the anonymity of the internet to conceal their true nature, and instead create and try to promote a false one which they think is more impressive in some way.
They have taken the absence of class distinctions and the inevitable rivalies arising amongst coworkers and community members, and simply replaced them with new criteria to establish rank and determine popularity and acceptance.

It seems that the open forums provided by the internet have been largely latched upon and overrun by individuals with profoundly low self-esteem and very unhappy personal lives, who utilize such space to vent their rage and hate, belittling others - posturing with false and pretentious personas in order to feel superior to others, and hurt with impunity.

I have chosen to always be myself online, to speak my mind honestly and speak from my heart; yet I have come to feel that I cannot trust anyone online - and I find this deeply disappointing and discouraging.

I believe the opportunity, and as yet untapped potential, for transforming the nature of human interaction and human society through online connectivity remains, and will someday be realized.
I realize, also, that withdrawing from the growing pains of this process will not serve to promote that end, instead, only delaying it longer - but it is with considerable difficulty and that I fight against cyinicism and despair.

I do not know if anyone will every read this blog or consider the ideas expressed therein, but to those who may, I would like to extend a heartfelt appeal that you join with me in the cause of realizing the positive potential of online interaction and community, as well as its tremendous power to bring about social change and global transformation.

I urge you to take a stand for honesty, for sincerity, for tolerance, for humility, and for respect.
Let us seize the opportunity we have to no longer be limited by fear and bigotry, by petty and pointless rivalries, by geographic distance, by physical images, by economic and class distinctions, and by the pain of past experiences and traumas.
We can choose to reach out with open minds and open hearts, eager to learn and grow together in friendship and greater understanding.

We can change the world.
We can create a new reality.

I sincerely hope there are enough of us who will embrace this opportunity and use it to its maximal potential.
I look forward to meeting and coming to know all such kindred spirits.

- Maluvia

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.”
- Margaret Mead